Whose Line Quotations

Some of my favourite quotes from the sketch comedy, Whose Line Is It Anyway?:

Colin Mochrie:

Hey! Make fun of the bald guy! I'll be your lightning rod of hate!

Greg: [wearing a rabbit mask, muffled]

I'm not into protection.

[no audience response]
Drew:

Say that again? I don't think anybody could hear you.

Greg: [takes mask off]

Oh, could nobody hear me?

Drew:

No.

Greg:

Maybe it's because of this [bleep]ing mask I'm wearing.

Drew:

Latin American sports announcers on their day off.

Ryan:

I'll have a cheeseburger, some fries and a COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!

[buzzer]
Ryan: [returns to stage]

You forgot my COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!

[buzzer]
Ryan: [returning]

Where the hell is my COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE?

Ryan:

What comes to mind when I say Ricky Ricardo and great cigars?

Colin:

Oh, Tapioca!

Ryan: [paused for a moment]

Really? Why's that?

Colin:

Wasn't that his big song? 'TAPIOOOOCA! TAPIOOOOCA!'

Ryan: [cracks up]

No, Colin, I'm talking about Cu--

[starts cracking up again]

Ryan:

We don't know what you're watching, so we're not going to tell you when we're going to return you to it.

Colin:

Oh! We would... We're watching animal porn!

[cracks up, covering his face]
Ryan:

What?

[buzzer sounds]
Colin:

Mary Had a Little Lamb will be right back in just a second. But ja-

[buzzer sounds again]
Ryan: [cracks up as does the audience]
Colin:

I'm sorry, I apologize.

Ryan: [After he finishes laughing, to Drew]

Wher-ah-so happy. We're watching animal porn!